Kaleidoscope
by hunnybeee
Summary: They were not friends, but brothers. Not brothers, but four parts of the same mind. They were a constant, a rock, an anchor. The tale of how four seemingly-similar, seemingly-different boys built a friendship that would shape the rest of their lives. The story of how teenage drama, romance and the ongoing threat of war led to the breakdown of the unbreakable.
1. Prologue

_A/N: Not 100% how to do these things but all credits go to JK Rowling. This is my first attempt at writing for many years so I'm grateful for any reviews, good or bad._

If there was one thing that Lily Evans had always admired about the marauders it was their friendship. She could (and would) have whined about their arrogance, scorned at their stupidity and sniggered at their failures but, despite her great talent for picking out each and every one of their flaws, she could not deny that they had a friendship greater than any other. No – it was _unlike_ any other. They were not friends, but brothers. Not brothers, but four parts of the same mind. They were a constant, a rock, an anchor. Indeed, when Lily Evans doubted everything else, when the turbulent world around her became unbearable, she knew that she could look to the marauders and know that nothing had _really_ changed.

And so, when the newly-christened Lily Potter found herself staring into the eyes of death only one thought made her hesitate before she accepted her fate: what had happened?


	2. Part One: White

**The Beginning**

" _The end is in the beginning and lies far ahead." RE_

September the 1st 1971 can, and will, be considered an outstandingly normal day. Even pertaining to our story it cannot be considered particularly exceptional; no battles were fought, no hearts were broken and, contrary to popular belief, no firm friendships were formed. The only reason we have paused to even consider September the 1st, 1971 is that it makes perfect chronological sense to start any story at the beginning. For, although September the 1st 1971 was a remarkably ordinary day, it does mark the beginning of something entirely extraordinary: Messrs Moody, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.

Platform 9 ¾ was brimming with people. Witches and wizards (and a fair few muggles) of all ages swarmed the platform to say goodbye to their beloved as they boarded the train that would take them to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for at least the next three months. Anybody who bothered to observe the scene around them would notice the sighs of exasperation on the faces of boys as they were pulled into _another_ hug from their doting mothers; the squeals of glee as girls ran to catch up with a summers-worth of gossip with friends and the moans and groans of the under 11s who knew very well that they too were mature enough to go away to learn at a magic school and it was most unfair that their parents wouldn't let them. Not that anybody at all took the time to watch.

Not anybody at all - except for Remus Lupin. Of course, this was to be expected – after all, Remus Lupin was, already, a special case. Tall for his age, he had hair the colour of golden syrup and eyes that seemed at first to be grey, though if anybody were to take the time to look they would recognise they were actually a combination of green speckled with gold. It was neither his height nor his eye colour that made Remus Lupin special however; it was the fact that until the 14th of August, some two weeks prior to the date in motion, Remus had not even dared to dream that he might be able to attend Hogwarts. This was why, it transpired, he decided not to rush onto the train, nor listen intently to his anxious mother and father, but to focus instead on the moment he was in and the people that surrounded him.

While Remus was looking at the scene with awe another, similarly-aged boy found himself feeling nothing but fear as the mass of people boarded the train. Peter Pettigrew was not exactly shy but he had always struggled with change, particularly since the death of his father the previous winter. He liked to feel comfortable and he didn't like being alone. Of course, at that moment he was not alone – his mother was kneeling beside him stroking his sandy brown hair whispering words of encouragement – but that did not change the fact that he would soon be pushed into an environment where he would not even know the name of a single other person.

"… and I know it may not feel like it at first but I promise you, the castle will be home to some of your greatest memories before you know it!" Mrs Pettigrew finished with a small smile. Peter was brought back to the present with a start and felt guilt spread through him as he realised he had been ignoring his mother. He knew she was more nervous than even he was that they were going to be separated. Peter pulled his mother into a hug that lasted longer than was probably acceptable – Peter knew this but, in that moment, he was not bothered.

Sirius Black watched Peter Pettigrew from across the station with a small smirk on his face - the boy looked as though he was about to burst into tears. Sirius Black was very different to Peter Pettigrew: he knew how to style his silky black hair in a way that aged him by at least two years; he knew how to walk with an air of confidence and, above all, he knew better than to make a scene like that on his first day at school. To attract such attention to himself would not only destroy any chance he might have to gain a good reputation but his mother simply would not stand for it. Mrs Black was not intentionally unaffectionate – she just believed that emotional displays were a weakness that needed to be stamped out of her children. This was why she sent a startled Sirius onto the train with little more than a squeeze of his shoulder and a reminder to keep close to his cousin Bellatrix while he was settling in. Sirius simply nodded in response before moving down the train, past a group of first years that were busy waving their final goodbyes out of the window and into the first empty compartment he could find.

One such first year was a boy by the name of James Potter. However, unlike the boy to the left of him, James was not shouting out of the window, nor was he struggling with tears like the girl at his right. James Potter looked perfectly at ease, with one elbow resting on the ledge of the train and a grin on his face as his father on the platform laughed up at him. Both Mr and Mrs Potter had turned up to send off their only son but they did not share with the distress that many parents experienced at this moment. Instead, they were both beaming with pride. They had been telling James stories of Hogwarts for as long as he could remember and they were thrilled to know that their son was about to start the greatest adventure of his life.

11 o'clock finally came and with it the train burst to life. As the train lurched forwards James left his post at the window and dragged his trunk behind him as he searched for a suitable compartment. He did not walk down the corridor so much as bounce. While Peter Pettigrew tried to avoid new situations, James Potter practically thrived on it. He could not wait to start at Hogwarts – the food, the people, even the lessons: it all sounded, well - magical!

James stopped outside a compartment that seemed to hold only first years. He checked his reflection once in the glass – his black hair was still standing up in every direction and his hazel eyes were glowing bright – before entering the compartment with a grin.

Four pairs of eyes looked up at him as he slid open the door.

"Hey! Mind if I sit here?" James asked as he plonked himself into a seat. "I'm James by the way."

"I'm Benjy" piped up a blonde boy in the corner. "Nice to meet you."

"Peter. Some people call me Pete but honestly I don't really like it all that much. I guess you can't really choose what people call you though can you…" Peter trailed off, embarrassed. James' grin grew.

"Sirius Black."

James nodded at the boy opposite him. "Okay so Benjy, Peter but not Pete and Sirius." He turned to the final occupant of the compartment, a red-headed girl who had turned to the window as soon as he had entered. "And you?"

She muttered something incomprehensible and her whole body seemed to shake. James made a face at Sirius, raising his eyebrows at her behaviour. Sirius shrugged and mouthed _'girls'._ Both boys laughed.

Six hours and thirty minutes later James Potter found himself staring up at the huge, oak front door that was opening to allow him to finally enter the school he had dreamed about before he had even ridden his first broomstick. James hadn't entered the building yet and already his day had gone brilliantly. He had never had trouble making friends yet he was still pleased that he had managed to find a compartment full of people he got on with. Benjy, though a little enthusiastic, had been fairly good company – he was a muggle-born and so had a long list of questions which James had been more than happy to answer (he enjoyed having an audience). Sirius had made him laugh on several occasions and, as it often was with the pure-blood families, it turned out they had a lot of mutual friends. Even Peter had been fun enough – he had seemed more fascinated by James than even Benjy was. The red-headed girl had left the compartment within the hour with a strange looking boy but James hadn't given either a second thought – he was too busy enjoying himself.

The gentle buzz of chatter fell as the group of first years were led inside the castle and into the great hall. James had grown up around magic all his life and yet even he was amazed by the sight of the star-studded sky that stretched out above him and the ghosts that were floating through the walls and the hundred of candles floating in mid-air and the four long tables shining with golden plates and goblets. He barely had time to take in the sight however, before his attention was brought to the battered hat on a stool at the very front of the hall. James knew what happened next.

Now, even at eleven years old James Potter was an overly confident individual. He had been doted on all his life by his parents and they had made him believe that he was capable of doing anything. James truly believed that he would be able to make the quidditch team by his third year. He was certain that he would not struggle in making friends and that those would be the right sort of friends. He guessed that if he tried to he would be able to successfully apparate without lessons. However, above all, James Potter was confident that he would be sorted into Gryffindor house.

And this was why James did not listen to the sorting hat as it sang about the values of each house – he simply did not care. Instead he was sadly accepting that there was a strong chance that none of the boys he had met on the train would be coming with him to Gryffindor. He knew enough about the houses to recognise that Benjy and Peter probably belonged in Hufflepuff. Sirius he might have placed in Gryffindor until he found out that he was a Black. Sirius had not exaggerated on the train when he said that all of his family had been in Slytherin. James knew that it didn't really matter; he would easily be able to make more friends. Still, it would have been nice to have known a few faces.

The sorting hat finished its song to a rapture of applause. A stern-looking witch that had introduced herself as Professor Mcgonagall stepped forward to begin reading out the names of first years to be sorted. Remus had been so absorbed listening to the hat's song that he had forgotten what it signified – he was going to be sorted. He glanced around at his fellow students and was glad to see that a few of them looked how he felt. One, slightly chubby boy, looked as though he might throw up. Remus was glad that his stomach, at least, was settled. He could not imagine how it would feel to throw up in front of the entire school on his first day. Then again, Remus remembered, there was no risk of that boy not being sorted. He frowned, subconsciously clapping his hands as _'Black, Sirius'_ was sorted into Gryffindor.

Still, Remus guessed he should be glad he had lasted as long as he had. In fact, his journey had been completely uneventful which was, in Remus' eyes, a success. He had been joined in his compartment by a red-headed girl named Lily Evans and a boy who had introduced himself simply as 'Snape'. Even though he had the impression that the boy didn't really like him (surely he couldn't _know_?) Lily had seemed genuinely interested in talking to him. She had even woken him up when the train ended its journey (he had dozed off just after three). All in all, if the hat told him he had to go back home he would at least know that his time at Hogwarts had been relatively pleasant.

Unfortunately, that thought did not give Remus too much comfort as he watched _'Fenwick, Benjy'_ and _'Gudgeon, Davey'_ become Hufflepuffs in quick succession. His palms actually began to sweat as _'Keane Isabella'_ was sorted into Ravenclaw and suddenly he was hearing the dreaded words ' _Lupin, Remus'_. Somehow, for he was sure he had not been able to move, he found himself sitting on the stool. As the hat that would determine his future was dropped onto his head, Remus found himself whispering a single word: _"please"._

Sirius was confused. Sirius had been confused when the hat had announced to the whole school that he belonged in Gryffindor. He had been confused when he had sat down at the _wrong_ table and been greeted by thumps on the back and handshakes. He had been confused when he had seen his 17 year old cousin, Bellatrix, glare at him. He had been confused when he found himself greeting Lily Evans, Robbie Jones and then Remus Lupin to the table. He had been confused when James Potter had run over to him crying _'you did it, I knew you were decent!'_

He had been confused when the hat had told him that he was wrong.

' _You don't belong there. I think you already know that.'_

Sirius was confused.

James was overjoyed.

Naturally he had been sorted into Gryffindor but so had Sirius! Even little chubby Peter had somehow made it into Gryffindor along with both the McKinnon twins, who he had known for years. He made a mental note to write to his Dad as soon as he got to his dormitory before tucking into the steak and ale pie that had appeared in front of his eyes moments before.

Professor Mcgonagall escorted Remus to the Gryffindor Common Room a little later than everybody else. Another student might have been embarrassed by this but nothing could dampen Remus' spirits. He had been sorted – he was here to stay! Even his fear of having to make friends had been squashed by his ecstasy and Remus forgot to even be timid as he swung open the door to the first year's dormitory.

"OH flipping frogs … crap… kneazle…shit…balls" shrieked James as Remus slammed the door into his unsuspecting foot. "What are you _playing_ at!?"

"Oh wow! I'm so sorry, I didn't think… I'm so _so_ sorry" Remus spluttered as he turned a deep shade of red. How had he managed to make _such_ a bad first impression? And with somebody that he would have to share a room with for the next seven years!

James, however, was already laughing, whilst rubbing his toe viciously.

"Alright, alright, enough with the apologies! Seriously, don't worry about it mate – it's my own fault for sitting right next to the door. You must be Remus?" James gestured to a bed next to Remus' trunk – somebody must have brought them up while they were eating. "I'm James Potter."

"Remus… yeah that's me" Remus responded stupidly.

"You're the last one up. There's six of us – Arlo and Robbie are in the common room now, they've already unpacked. That over there is Peter – but he prefers Pete…"

"I do NOT prefer Pete!" Peter was surprised at his own confidence. Then again he was surprised that he was even in Gryffindor.

"…and Sirius is in the shower" James finished, ignoring Peter's interruption completely. He looked Remus in the eye before continuing in hushed tones. "I'd be gentle around him though mate. He was a laugh earlier but he's been a bit weird after the sorting. Don't think he'd ever considered any house but Slytherin. Still – I hope he perks up soon. He's being a bit of a git about it to be perfectly honest."

Remus simply nodded. He was amazed that one boy could manage to say so much to a complete stranger without a single stutter. He could not work out whether he was intimidated, put off or simply in awe of James Potter.

"Hey, me and Pete are heading downstairs in a bit so you might want to hurry up with the unpacking" James piped up again.

"Pete and I" Remus corrected automatically. He regretted this instantly but James did not seem to have noticed.

"We'll see you down there?" James prompted.

"Oh… yeah course." Remus attempted a smile which James reciprocated.

"Good – come on Pete"

"Are you just _trying_ to annoy me?" Peter grumbled as he followed James out of the room.

Remus sat down on his bed. Since the accident he had never really interacted with boys (or girls) his own age. He wondered whether they were all quite like James Potter.

Three hours later Remus found himself getting into bed. He had decided that James Potter was terrifying, Robbie Jones liked to tell stories, Peter Pettigrew liked to listen to stories and Arlo McKinnon smiled a lot. He had not yet met Sirius Black – by the time he had returned to the dorms with Peter and Arlo, Sirius was already asleep. So far Remus had decided that he was happy with his dormitory. He thought it would be easy for him to go unnoticed in the group and Remus knew that he did not want to be noticed.

Peter settled into his new bed without any trouble. He was exhausted yet he still took the time to reflect on his day. Gryffindor – he could not believe it! He had been certain that only Hufflepuff would accept somebody like him. True, his Dad had been in Ravenclaw but he had never been particularly intelligent. But to be in Gryffindor –Peter was _certain_ he was not brave. Still, he thought as he began to drift off to sleep, at least he had been accepted. Nobody had told him he didn't deserve to be in Gryffindor. James Potter had taken to teasing him but Peter didn't really mind that and he expected James would get bored of him soon. His last thought before his mind closed to the world was that he could probably become very good friends with Robbie.

Sirius sat up in his bed with the curtains drawn around him. He knew the others thought he was asleep and he wanted to keep it that way. He was still trying to work out how he had ended up in this dormitory, coated with red and gold, when he knew he should be in a room of emerald and silver. It was true that Sirius had always joked about what would happen if he was not sorted into Slytherin – but he had never expected it to happen. True, Sirius did not like the reputation that he knew Slytherin had – but that didn't mean he didn't want to be in the house. Maybe Sirius did resent the way his parents raised him (from what he had heard, James Potter seemed to have spent most of his childhood outside, free to do what he wanted!) but that did not mean he wanted to go against them. He _knew_ how his father felt about Gryffindor, _knew_ that his mother would see this as a betrayal. Sirius didn't want to upset them. How had this happened?

James did not go to bed until just before midnight. He had never seen the point in sleeping when it was so much more fun to be awake. He had remained in the common room even after Robbie went to bed, writing to his parents, and only decided to go up to his room when he realised he would not be able to send the letter until the next morning. Silently, he climbed into his bed. He wished that Robbie had stayed up for a little bit longer. Admittedly, James had found Robbie's constant rambling a bit annoying after a few hours, but he still would have liked the company. He thought about Sirius, fast asleep next to him. James was confused by how Sirius had reacted when he had seen the dormitory but he wished he would snap out of it. James was sure that if Sirius had not been moping about he would have stayed up with him. Maybe he would be perkier in the morning. James hoped so.

And so, September the 1st 1971 ended. In many ways, nothing had changed. It was, after all, just a regular day: no grand discoveries were made, nobody sacrificed their lives and, contrary to popular belief, nobody fell in love. No – September the 1st 1971 was an extraordinarily ordinary day. Except for one, teeny tiny, in many ways insignificant, change. Maybe it would be wrong even to consider it a change – it was simply a matter of a few moments. Moments where four, seemingly-similar, seemingly-different, boys crossed paths for the first time. And, even though these moments were forgotten almost as soon as they passed, they would prove to shape the rest of each one of their lives.


	3. White

**White**

' _From the very beginning we were meant to be' T_

It is very difficult to pinpoint the exact moment when a stranger become an acquaintance, when an acquaintance becomes a mate, when a mate becomes a friend and when a friend becomes a best friend. Indeed, within the context of our story it is more difficult than it is with most; we are following not two but _four_ lives, not one but _twelve_ relationships. We are lucky in the sense that these relationships always were closely entangled and yet we are unlucky insofar as there is no exact turning point that can be observed. No – these relationships came about by a series of brief conversations, strange observations and unexpected understandings.

 _2_ _nd_ _September, 1971_

Now the Great Hall could be described as a magnificent sight on an evening – grand yet somewhat intimidating to those who were not used to it. However, when morning came the Hall was transformed into a safe haven – a replica of the homes that had been left behind. The roof showed a clear blue sky reminiscent of summer days gone by. Plates were piled high with everything from bacon and eggs to scotch pancakes. Teachers were hustling and bustling down the rows handing out timetables that were either thrown aside or studied intently the moment they reached a students hands. Rested and refreshed the first years were now learning the names they had been too tired to learn the day before while wondering with great wonder what the day ahead may bring.

However, when Sirius entered the room he noticed none of this. He had woken up with one thought on his mind and he was determined to follow it through. Sirius walked with purpose towards his target, only stopping once to accept his timetable. When he arrived he took one deep breath before tapping James Potter on the shoulder.

James turned in his seat, his mouth full of toast, to see Sirius standing sheepishly behind him. "Y'alright mate" he managed to get out.

"Yeah" Sirius started. "Look I just wanted to say sorry about last night. I know I was a bit weird – I was just exhausted and… I dunno I guess I was just a bit surprised that I ended up where I did but I was stupid not to stay up and meet everyone."

James burst into laughter.

"Honestly I swear I'm in a dorm with a bunch of girls! What is wrong with you all? You should chat to Remus - he's already apologised three times to me this morning." James chuckled to himself before turning to the girl beside him. "Oi – can you budge up a little?"

Sirius settled down in the now empty seat next to James. He spent the next twenty minutes chatting to the people beside him (he was introduced by James to Mary Macdonald, Lily Evans and Robbie Jones) and laughing when appropriate. James, he was glad to see, really did not seem to care about the way he had acted the previous night but Sirius was still determined to make it clear that he was not going to be a moody prick for the rest of the year.

He just wished he could shake away the voice ringing in his ears that told him he was in the wrong place.

He wished he did not feel sick to his stomach every time he saw the gold and red on James's tie.

He wished he could keep his hands from shaking.

But Sirius had always been very good at acting like nothing was wrong.

 _5_ _th_ _September 1971_

Remus sighed when he saw James bouncing up the corridor towards him. He was hoping that he would have been able to avoid this conversation with the loudest and nosiest member of his dorm. True, Sirius had spent the last couple of days proving that he was capable of making just as much noise as James but at least Sirius was blunt enough to say exactly what he was thinking and narcissistic enough not to really care about the responses. No, that was harsh. Sirius wasn't purposely rude and self-absorbed – he just didn't seem to care that much about those around him. Remus reminded himself that he wasn't even qualified to make _that_ judgement – he had barely spoken to the boy over the last four days.

Remus _had_ however, spoken to James Potter quite a bit and he knew that this would not be a brief chat – James didn't seem to _understand_ the concept of a brief chat. Sighing, Remus waited for the questions to start.

"Remus! Glad I bumped into you, I've just had the most _bizarre_ run in with _…_ " James stopped mid-sentence, noticing the rucksack on Remus' back. "Hey – what's with the bag? It's a Sunday – we don't have any lessons."

"Yeah I know that…"

"Surely you're not going to the library? I know you like to read but _come ooon_! It's our first weekend!"

"Yeah I'm just going home for a couple of days…"

"But we've got lessons tomorrow?"

"Yes I know that but I just need to see my Mum."

"Your Mum?" James questioned.

"Yes my Mum. I'm going home to see my Mum."

"Well - that's stupid. You've only been away for four days."

"For Merlin's sake James my Mum's ill! Really ill. Has been for ages only I think me leaving made it worse – she worries a lot you see. Dad sent me an owl yesterday – he's worried. Dumbledore said it was okay to just go and see her for a couple of days, let her know that I'm okay and everything." Remus was surprised at how easily the lie came out. He almost thought he could believe it himself.

Remus was more surprised by James's silence. For the very few days that Remus had known James Potter he had not been able to shut his mouth for longer than a couple of seconds except in lessons. Not even in lessons!

But Remus really did not know James very well. Yes, James was loud, he was confident, he struggled to sit still for long periods of time and he enjoyed laughing at other people. But James was not insensitive. Despite growing up as an only child with only adults and an old house elf to spend his time with, James recognised when somebody might be in pain. James had always known that his childhood had been one of comfort and ease yet he knew that not everyone had been so lucky. And so, when he looked at Remus properly, he saw the bags under his eyes, noticed his tensed shoulders, observed the strain in his eyes and he understood that Remus was in pain. So James did not speak. Instead he let his hand go to Remus' shoulder and convey the words that James knew he would not be able to say. After a couple of moments he let his hand fall back. Then he grinned, punched Remus gently on the arm and ran off down the corridor.

Remus stood still for just a second. Then he turned and carried on down the corridor. It would not do to be late.

 _6_ _th_ _September 1971_

"I am STARVING" Sirius moaned.

"Me too – that treacle tart feels like a lifetime ago" James responded.

"I never thought I'd say it but that is the one thing I miss about Kreacher."

" _Kreacher?"_

"The house elf. He's a right weirdo but not a bad cook. Would get me anything if I asked"

"Mmm… I do miss having a house elf. Why didn't I have more potatoes while I could!?"

"Probably because you'd already eaten four helpings of them you fat git!"

"I could get you some food if you wanted."

Sirius and James both sat up abruptly in their beds. They had both been so absorbed with their conversation that they had completely forgotten that Peter had come up to the dorm with them.

"Yeah of course you can Pete." James settled back down into his bed.

"No – I mean it. I think the house elves actually like it. I'll go now!" Peter was out of the room before Sirius and James even had a chance to look at each other.

"How did _Peter_ manage to find the kitchens before us!?"

Sirius smiled. "He's quiet – the smart ones are always quiet."

"Have you forgotten that he freezed his sleeping draught in potions last week?"

"Hey – none of us managed to freeze it. The boys got talent."

 _9th September 1971_

Remus looked down at his finished letter and sighed. He knew his mother would see straight through his lies. He wondered why he even bothered telling her that the transformation had been better and that the arrangements Dumbledore had put in place had stopped him from turning on himself. But he preferred to pretend. It was easier that way. He smiled to himself. At least this month she would not have to see his scars.

"Remus?" Remus had been so caught up in his own thoughts that he had not noticed when Sirius Black had entered the owlery.

"Having second thoughts?" Sirius continued as he tied his own letter to the leg of a large barn owl. "Only you've been staring at that letter for the last five minutes."

Remus nodded. "No, it's okay. It's only to my Mum. Just want to make sure she's not worrying about me."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot." Sirius frowned. "How were things?"

"Wha- oh. Oh. Oh um it was okay. She was happy to see me. I reckon I'll have to go back again though."

"Well at least you'll get a couple days off! I'm telling you, I thought first year was meant to be easy!"

Remus snorted.

"What!?"

"You're not exactly struggling in class."

"Alright Mr 'answers-every-question-perfectly'"

"I'm just saying – you don't seem to be struggling."

"I don't like writing essays though. You missed two while you were gone!"

"Yeah I know – Lily wrote down everything I missed."

Sirius nodded, taking the barn owl to the window. As it flew out he sighed.

"Look, Remus, you should be grateful that your Mum actually worries about you. I don't think my Mum has _ever_ worried about me. Actually that's not true – she regularly worries that I'll embarrass her."

"I'm sure –"

"Don't tell me it's not true. It is. I don't care."

Remus watched the barn owl as it became smaller and smaller.

"Did she take the news badly?" He asked gently.

"It could have been worse. But it could have been better. I knew that I was supposed to be in Slytherin and I knew she'd be upset but… I mean it doesn't matter that much does it? Really? What difference does it actually make what bloody coloured tie I'm wearing? It wasn't like I _chose_ this. I was actually looking forward to pleasing her for once."

Remus did not know what to say – he could sense that Sirius was getting angry.

"Fuck her." Sirius said suddenly. "Fuck them all."

And with that, Sirius stormed out.

 _14_ _th_ _October 1971_

"BLACK! POTTER!" Professor Mcgonagall's voice thundered across the classroom.

Sirius and James had been in the middle of a very intense sword fight and were most upset to be interrupted.

"What _exactly_ do you think you're doing!?"

The boys looked at each other.

"Well we turned our match sticks into needles, just like you told us too…" James started.

"But it only took us a minute and we were quite bored…"

"I did transfigure mine back again. But that got boring after ten tries"

"Then we realised that we could practice a handy little trick that James read about in a charms book…"

"And we thought that we should try it out in a safe environment…"

"And it worked! Look, we managed to make our needles much larger!"

"And then _Sirius_ noticed how similar they were to swords"

"And _James_ pointed out that we still haven't decided who is the best sword-fighter"

"So _naturally_ we had to find out!"

Mcgonagall was looking at the two boys incredulously. Part of her wanted to laugh. A very, very, _very_ small part of her.

"Okay that is IT. You have been at Hogwarts for over a month now – you _know_ what is expected of you and yet you still feel the need to do your own thing every single lesson…"

"But…"

"No Mr Potter there are no 'buts'. Detention on Friday. My Office."

" _Professor"_

"Don't make me take points off as well!"

James leaned back in his chair. He had always messed about at home and naturally he had not changed his attitude when he had come to Hogwarts but the benefit of being the only child of two adoring parents was that he very rarely got into trouble. He didn't know if he liked being told off. He glanced at Sirius.

"Well well well James – it looks like we'll be spending our first detention together!" The Blacks had never been known not to punish Sirius. Over the years he had learnt to accept and even enjoy it. "We shall ever forth remember this day in history."

James grinned. He could get used to getting into trouble.

 _4_ _th_ _November 1971_

"Does Remus have a cat?"

James looked up from him book. "Sorry?"

Sirius continued to watch James earnestly.

"Well, I don't know. He definitely doesn't have one here. He might have one at home. Why don't you ask _him._ " James went back to his reading.

Sirius nodded. James was right – Remus might have a cat at home. But Sirius knew he could never ask Remus. Because he was too scared of the answer. Because if it wasn't a _cat_ that was making those scratches… Sirius shuddered. He needed to start being nicer to Remus Lupin.

 _2_ _nd_ _December 1971_

Peter watched Remus packing his bag. He knew that Remus was going to visit his Mum again and he knew that he wanted to say something and he knew that he wanted to make it better and he knew that he wasn't very good with words and he knew that James and Sirius and even Robbie would laugh at him if they knew how pathetic he was being. But he wanted to say something.

"My Dad died a year ago today." _Why_ was that what he decided to say?

Remus, who had been trying to decide whether he would prefer to bleed over his Dad's old quidditch shirt or a navy blue jumper, was brought out of his trance abruptly. He looked up at Peter.

"I don't know why I told you that. I haven't told anybody that."

"Peter I had no idea – I would have said something to Sirius earlier…"

"Do you really think Sirius would have stopped for you?"

"I guess not but…I didn't realise it had happened so recently. Are you… How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay. Really I am. I feel bad that I'm not at home but Mum didn't want me to make a fuss."

"I'm sure if you'd asked…"

"I know but I didn't want to ask. I didn't really want to draw attention to it at all. It would feel weird if James and Sirius weren't taking the piss and Robbie wasn't talking over me. I don't want today to be any different than any other day."

"But-"

"No. I'm glad it's like this. I only told _you_ because… Well I just wanted you to know that I get it. Dad didn't last as long as your Mum has but… I know what its like to watch a parent…like that."

For the first time Remus felt guilty for the lie he had told.

"Peter-"

"You don't have to say anything. Seriously." Peter went to leave the dormitory but he turned back. "I would go for the jumper. I think your Mum would like it."

 _10_ _th_ _December 1972_

As Remus finished his set of lines he couldn't help smile to himself.

' _I will not allow my partner to throw beetles into another student's cauldron.'_

He looked over at Sirius who had, of course, been given triple the number of lines to do owing to the fact that it had of course been him who had been responsible for what was now being described as the 'beetle incident'. Slughorn had known full well that Remus had not been involved but he had been so angry that Remus was surprised he hadn't put the entire class into detention. Sirius had sworn that he did not know that beetles would cause Mulciber's potion to blow up. Remus had his doubts.

Remus was naturally a stickler for keeping rules. His condition had broken so many _unspoken_ wizarding rules that he felt he had to prove himself as a functioning, rule-abiding member of society. And yet, there had been something thrilling in the aftermath of the explosion. Even Slughorn's fury had been somewhat exhilarating for Remus who had known exactly who had thrown the beetles. And Mulciber's expression… That had been something else.

So, Remus smiled in spite of himself.

 _12_ _th_ _January, 1972_

Arlo McKinnon strolled into the Gryffindor Common Room laughing his head off.

"What?" Sirius snapped. He had been in a very bad mood since returning from the Christmas Holidays.

"Bloody hell Sirius you need to chill out." James looked up at Arlo. "Whats got you so happy?"

"Peter's got himself into trouble with some Slytherins. Apparently he called one of them _'Snivellus'_ or something. Anyway now his legs are stuck together _and_ he has blue hair! Honestly it's a sight to see!"

James stood up. "Come on Sirius."

" _Really_ James?"

"Where do you think he heard the word ' _Snivellus'_? He won't be able to help himself, he could be jumping around for hours."

"I guess I _would_ like to see Peter with blue hair," Sirius sighed. Where was he Arlo?"

 _20_ _th_ _January, 1972_

"OI!" James sent a stream of sparks after the group of third years but they had already ran down the stairs. "Bloody pricks" he muttered to himself.

"Are you alright Peter?" James asked as Peter's ears grew in front of his eyes.

"Yeah I'm okay," Peter shrugged, getting up from the floor. "I mean, this one didn't hurt… I don't get it though. I mean those were _Ravenclaws._ And third years! I've never done anything to them…"

"Mate, this is the fifth time in two weeks. Its not about you doing anything to them – they just… they just think you're an easy target."

"Well they're right," Peter grumbled.

"They're not right."

"Yes they are – I haven't been able to defend myself once."

James sighed. "Well that's because they're older than you and they only target you when you're alone. _I_ wouldn't be able to defend myself against them."

"Yeah but you don't have too – nobody has tried to hex you."

"Look. Pete." James began to steer him towards the stairs. "We can talk about this later. Right now you have got to get to the hospital wing. You're beginning to look like Babbity Rabbity."

 _5_ _th_ _February 1972_

Sirius had only entered the dormitory to grab a pair of gloves (James had challenged him to a wrestling match in the snow) and so when he saw Peter's expression it was with irritation that he paused. Peter seemed to be distressed about something and Sirius felt obliged to check that he was okay – he knew James would want him to.

He still couldn't understand James's decision to look after Peter. Sure, he liked Peter enough, but he wasn't particularly talented, interesting or funny. The most entertaining thing about Peter was how easy he was to wind up. But James seemed determined to make sure Peter was okay and Sirius respected James. And so Sirius was only somewhat reluctant when he sat on the corner of his bed.

"Are you okay mate?" Sirius asked

Peter hadn't noticed Sirius walk in. "Sirius! Yeah, I'm fine."

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Don't look at me like that! I am!"

Sirius shrugged and stood up. "Whatever you say."

Sirius was at the door when Peter spoke again. "Why are you doing it?"

"Why am I wrestling James?" Sirius turned.

"No… Why are you stopping people from cursing me and things. You don't have to; we're not exactly best friends. And nobody else stops it, not even Robbie. And until a month ago it was you and James hexing me all the time!"

"But when _we_ hexed you it was always in the comfort of this room and that was just practice." Sirius tried to dismiss Peter's question.

"That still doesn't explain why you stop other people from doing it. You should find it funny."

Sirius considered this for a moment. "I guess its not funny for us when other people do it. Besides, you should always protect your own."

Peter looked up at Sirius.

Sirius felt very uncomfortable. He forced himself to think of what James would do. "Hey – its rude to stare. Now are you gonna come and ref this match or not!?"

 _9_ _th_ _February 1972_

"Hey Lily! Lily, don't ignore me! What has gotten into you?"

"Oh wow, because something _must_ have gotten into me for me to ignore the _incredible_ James Potter!" The redhead glared at James before returning to her book.

"Chill out ginger I just asked to borrow a quill. Seriously what is your problem?" James didn't have time for Lily today; he had two feet of parchment to write on the properties of a plant of his choice. He was yet to select a plant. He thought plants were stupid.

"I'm sorry for not rushing to let you borrow my things. Maybe I just don't trust you with my property – is that _so_ out of line?"

"Bloody hell this is about Snivellus isn't it?"

"His name is NOT Snivellus! And you set his bag on fire for absolutely no reason!"

"We had good reason – he tried to jinx Pete the other day!"

" _Of course_ he did _._ You act as if he's this horrible person and you've never even had a conversation with him! Don't try to act as though you were trying to protect Peter."

"Are you actually kidding me?" James started laughing at this. Lily really was delusional sometimes.

Lily was infuriated by James's reaction. "Screw you _Potter."_ She stormed out of the common room.

"Oh go run off to _Severus_ then Evans, I'm sure your Slytherin bud will be happy to see you!" James shouted after her.

Sirius looked up from his own essay, smirking.

"That girl is _mental_ ," James whined.

"Whatever you say James."

 _29_ _th_ _February 1972_

"No, I'm sorry Remus but I don't care how sick your mother is, you _cannot_ miss a leap year at Hogwarts." James was storming around the dormitory.

"James I – " Remus tried to respond.

"No I don't want to hear it, I don't care, nothing can justify this!"

"This isn't something that happens every year you know," Sirius interjected.

"Dumbledore apparently has a load of surprises planned as well," Peter added nervously. Privately he took Remus' side but he did not want to risk James and Sirius turning on him. They had got him out of several nasty situations over the last month and he didn't think he could go back to being hexed every time he turned a corner alone.

"I really wish I could stay – "

"No that is not good enough!"

"I don't see why you even care – "

"Oh don't play that card." James flopped onto his bed. "Acting all insecure is not going to work."

"Oh leave him James. It's his loss," Sirius grinned darkly. "At least we won't have to feel all guilty when Snivellus starts crying."

Remus who had been packing his rucksack stopped at this. He looked up at the three of them who had all started sniggering.

"What did… Do I even want to know?" He asked hesitantly.

James tried and failed to keep his face neutral. "Have you ever heard of a little charm called _Accetus_?"

Remus shook his head looking at them all suspiciously.

"Well then," Sirius continued. "Lets just say that poor old Snivellus may not enjoy the feast as much as he might have expected."

Peter burst into fits of hysterical laughter.

Remus decided the less he knew the better. After all, his current priority was not Severus Snape's well being.

 _2_ _nd_ _March 1972_

Peter was worried about Remus.

He didn't know what to say or do about it but he was worried. Every time he returned from home he looked _awful._ His eyes were red, he had dark bags and his skin seemed stretched and pale. He knew it was stupid but he couldn't help shake the feeling that it might be dangerous for Remus to go home. He had never asked Remus what his mother had gone down with but Peter feared it was contagious. He wanted to ask James or Sirius about it. They were both much smarter than him but at the same time they might laugh him off. They usually did. Peter knew he probably was being stupid.

But he could not help it. He was very worried about Remus.

 _14_ _th_ _March 1972_

"That _girl_ is infuriating," James was ranting to anybody who would listen. "What have I ever done to her!?"

"Well James you have to admit you do try and wind her up," Remus started.

"I do NOT! I am not Sirius!"

"I'm not saying you are but…well, you do seem to have an ongoing feud with her best friend. That probably doesn't help."

"Stupid Snivellus," James muttered under his breath. "Why do we have to go to a co-ed school anyway. Its not just Lily, its _all_ of them, they're all so bloody self-righteous."

"James you love Marlene and Mary," Peter laughed.

"Yeah but I'd sacrifice them for some peace and quiet."

"I'm with James," Sirius remarked. "Half of the girls in Gryffindor are bloody mudbloods!"

The reaction was instantaneous. Peter dropped both the bar of his chocolate he was eating and the book he was reading as his mouth fell open. Arlo, who had barely been listening to the conversation, looked up at Sirius with disgust. James stared at his best friend as though he didn't even recognise him. However, it was Remus who reacted the most. His expression did not change but he very carefully packed up his work, stood up and left for the dormitory without a word.

"Remus," James panted. It seemed he had run up the stairs only a few seconds after Remus himself had left. "Mate…"

Remus looked up at James, disgust etched over his face. "Are you here to try and defend Sirius? Because I don't want to hear it. I'm not interested." 

"Of course not! Honestly, don't you know me at all! I cant believe… I would _never…_ " James was lost for words. "It's just… _disgusting."_

Remus fell onto his bed. "I _know_ that Sirius was raised…differently to the rest of us but that's no excuse. _How_ can he think it's okay to speak like that?"

"I dunno mate… My parents have always told me that some wizards still think that… that somehow having magical blood…. makes them… superior but… I… I knew Sirius' family were extreme but…language like that… I haven't heard it since my Grandma was still alive and she… well she didn't understand." James paused before continuing quietly. "Maybe Sirius doesn't understand…"

Remus' eyes flashed. "Well then he should _learn_ to understand! Doesn't he realise that my Mum's a muggle? And Peter and Robbie both have muggleborn parents? And the girls! He's always chatting to Mary – _how_ can he not realise…"

"He… I'm not trying to defend him but I don't think he means it. You're right – he _was_ raised differently and I know that's no excuse but… he wouldn't try to hurt someone." Remus gave James a dark look. "Okay well he wouldn't try to _really_ hurt someone. Not one of us. I didn't realise it but… well he needs help to understand."

Remus sighed. He could already feel his anger diminishing. He knew that James was right. Remus knew that the old families thought like this but he had never experienced it before. His father, though a half blood, had cut all magical ties when Remus was bitten. Remus knew that there was prejudice but he didn't think that it existed amongst people his age. _James_ never mentioned blood status. But Sirius had a very different family to James. The word had probably slipped out.

"James?" Remus began hesitantly. He wanted to explain. "I know Sirius didn't mean it in the way that…some people do. Or at least he doesn't understand why he shouldn't. But… I just hate that people… people think that they're better than everyone else. I hate that people who are different are… are treated like dirt and scum. I just wish that people weren't so… close minded…"

James nodded slowly. "I know. People are crap. But we'll teach Sirius. He'll understand."

"I just wish everybody else would," Remus whispered.

 _27_ _th_ _March 1972_

James was in a very bad mood. James loved attention on the best of days and yet on the day where he actually _deserved_ to have all eyes on him it seemed that he had been ignored all day. When he woke up everybody had already gone down to breakfast. He seemed to get to every lesson late and ended up sitting next to Mary Macdonald or Jessica Meadowes both of whom he normally liked to chat too. Today however, it seemed they weren't interested in him. He just could not work out why _all_ of his friends were ignoring him.

And so it was with low spirits that James returned to the Gryffindor common room after a lonely dinner where only Nearly Headless Nick had noticed him. He considered waiting for his friends by the fire but James was in the mood to sulk. He headed up to his dormitory glaring at everyone he dared to look at him.

As James walked up the stairs he decided that he could at least gorge on the chocolate his aunt had sent him and the absence of his friends meant that he would have no inclination to share any of it. With this happy thought he opened the door.

The roar of a lion greeted him and a hundred streamers fell from the ceiling with a loud 'pop'. James blinked several times in shock. The dormitory was full: there was a pile of presents on his bed; Peter must have snuck to the kitchens because there was a huge cake and bowls of crisps on the dresser and somebody had bewitched the pillows to roar like lions. All of the girls had joined them (even Lily who was sitting begrudgingly in a corner) and a big banner reading _'Happy Birthday James'_ was draped across the wall. A grin began to spread across James' face.

 _1_ _st_ _April 1972_

"SIRIUS! OI," James ran after his friend.

"James mate, chill out I was just going to get my trunk."

"I know but I've just checked with my parents and I wanted to let you know that you are spending the second week of the holidays with us!" James beamed. "Mum will send an owl to your parents so they wont be able to say no!"

Sirius considered this. He knew his mother would not want Sirius to spend a week of the holidays away with another family. But the Potters were a well known family and she couldn't help but respect the name. Besides, if they sent an owl she wouldn't be able to refuse – it would be too much of an embarrassment.

Sirius grinned at James. "I cant wait!"

 _28_ _th_ _April 1972_

When Remus saw Sirius' face he decided that he did not want to be guilty by association and he quickly made an escape to the library. Peter however, was not so fortunate. But it was Peter that Sirius had come to see.

"Peter, my good friend, how are you doing this fine morning?" Sirius asked grandly.

Peter looked scared. "What have you done?"

"Now, now Peter don't look at me like," Sirius said, faking innocence. "I have not done _anything_ that you wouldn't approve of."

"Have you done something that _Remus_ wouldn't approve of?"

Sirius smiled mischievously. "Do you remember, oh, back in January, when a certain group of Ravenclaws set a delightful little spell on you that made your ears grow bigger than Hagrid's hands? What a wonderful day _that_ was!"

Peter squirmed. That was one of _many_ memories he was trying to forget.

"Ah so you _do_ remember it! Well, while our dear Madam Pomfrey was fixing you up, James overheard a certain _Betram Audrey_ boasting about his success in jinxing a poor defenceless first year. Well we have been waiting for the opportunity to get back at Mr Audrey and I am proud to say that on this glorious morning we were lucky enough to run into him on my way to breakfast." 

Peter's eyes had grown wide.

"I do believe, Peter, that we may not be seeing our good Mr Audrey for a couple of days. It _seems_ that he may be stuck in our fine Hospital Wing – lets just say he certainly looks _big-headed_ now." Sirius laughed at his own joke and punched Peter's arm. "See Peter this is why we keep you around – I have _never_ been so entertained in my life."

 _4_ _th_ _May, 1972_

James believed that he was very talented. And, for the most part, this view was justified. He excelled both academically and personally. He was charming, charismatic, caring and daring. James also believed that he was very observant, a skill which he had picked up at dinner parties and family events as a child. And, for the most part this view was justified.

However, when it came to Remus Lupin, James's talent for observation had failed him. It is unclear why – perhaps he just was not looking. Either way, it came as a complete shock to him when Peter and Sirius came to him one sunny afternoon to discuss their fears.

"So," James tried to make sense of what they had told him. "You don't think his Mum is ill at all?"

"I _saw_ her at the station James. She looked perfectly healthy to me. A bit pale but that's not surprising looking at Remus."

"I don't know why he would lie about her health," Peter continued. "But she can't be sick, some symptoms would show."

"And have you noticed how defensive he gets if you ever try to ask what it is she has?"

"But…" James was still confused. "But he definitely goes to see her. He goes all the time! That's not a lie, we see him go."

"We're not saying he doesn't go home James," Sirius looked at Peter. "We just don't think his mum is ill."

"That doesn't make _any_ sense! Besides, she's a muggle, so maybe its different. Maybe you can't _see_ what's wrong with her!"

"Look… James, mate," Sirius started gently. "Have you ever noticed how many scars Remus has?"

James frowned. It was true that Remus often had bruises and scratches all around his body but he had never really thought about it. He had just assumed that Remus was clumsy.

"James, I walked in on him getting changed the other day and… his back…" Sirius took a deep breath. "It was _torn apart_. It was as if he'd been… I dunno whipped or something!"

James really did not like where this conversation was going. "What are you trying to say?"

"I've thought for a while now…and Peter agrees with me…I don't think he goes home to look after his mother. I think he goes to protect her. From herself or from his Dad I don't know but…somebody in that house is hurting him James. And we don't know what to do about it."

 _29_ _th_ _May, 1972_

When Remus woke up in the hospital wing, as he did every month, he had a system. First, he would drink the potion that Madam Pomfrey would leave by his bed. Then he would drink a glass of water before inspecting his body to check that Madam Pomfrey had not missed any vital wounds. Of course, there was a limit to how much she could help him – the wounds were cursed and as such could only be stemmed from bleeding, not removed altogether. After that, he would get dressed into the clothes he kept in his rucksack.

Today, however, Remus found something different in his rucksack. The jeans and sweatshirt he had packed were still intact. However, Remus also found a large bar of chocolate. He pulled it out, confused. After his transformations his body could not process food for at least 24 hours and he never used this bag for anything else.

Stuck to the bar of chocolate was a photo. Remus blinked as he saw himself, James, Sirius and Peter smiling up at him, all wearing party hats. Remus recognised it as James's birthday – the night before a full moon Remus could see that he was paler than usual. And yet, he looked happy. A single tear slid down Remus' cheek.

Remus still did not know how he had come to be friends with any of them. He would be much better suited to somebody like Arlo, quiet and gentle or Robbie, who didn't ask questions, than the rowdy James and Sirius, or Peter who cared enough to ask. But Remus did not care. He just wished it could always be this way.

Remus sighed. He knew that it could not always be this way. The closer he got to them, the more he was at risk. If they ever found out the truth about him… Remus shuddered at the thought.

 _6_ _th_ _June, 1972_

Peter was stressed out. Despite testing himself for three hours he still could not recall the ten simplest rules of defence and he was barely halfway through his plan for the day. He looked out of the window and sighed. He knew that he would not _fail_ his exams but he also knew that he would not do particularly well. He wasn't hard-working like Remus or naturally talented like James or Sirius. He was probably wasting him time trying to revise. But he did not want to feel like a fool when his friends were guaranteed to do well. He wished he could be like them. But he wasn't. He kept working.

 _27_ _th_ _June, 1972_

"Remus where have you _been_!?" James demanded.

"Hello to you too," Remus grumbled. "I told you I was going home."

"Oh," James patted Remus' arm awkwardly. "Sorry I forgot… But you can cheer up now! You missed our results coming out!" 

Remus had completely forgotten that he would be away when their results were published. Now, it all came flooding back to him. Remus was desperate to do well. Not because he cared about the grades (although he did). He had spent the entire year trying to convince himself that he did in fact belong at Hogwarts – these exams would show him if Dumbledore had been right to ignore the opinion of every teacher and take him in.

"Mate, you look like a squashed hippogriff! Relax – you beat all of us! Only just though – and its just because Sirius decided that it would be more fun to try and melt his cauldron in potions." James laughed.

"Well it was very fun!" Sirius grinned. "Besides, Remus works as the smart one."

Remus smiled. He hoped he had made Dumbledore proud.

 _28_ _th_ _July, 1972_

"You have all got to come to my summer house over the holidays," James exclaimed excitedly.

"You have a summer house?" Peter gasped.

"Yeah and it has a massive field where we can play quidditch! Please say you'll all come."

"Well I'll definitely be there," Sirius grumbled. He was not looking forward to the summer holidays. "How long do you reckon I have to stay at Mum and Dads before it's acceptable to leave? A week? A day?"

"You'll be fine Sirius. At least you've got your brother," Remus smiled.

"You can just try doing the summer reading?" Peter suggested.

"That's true…" Sirius pondered. "I still can't believe we have so much to do. Binns is taking the piss – we have to learn threes chapter on the development of centaur, werewolf _and_ troll rights."

"What!?" Remus sat up in shock.

"Oh yeah, forgot to tell you. He set it when you were last at home. Chapters 24 to – "

"But we shouldn't be learning about that stuff yet!" Remus interrupted. "It's way too advanced!"

"Merlin Remus, chill, its just a list of laws, we're not studying 'how to become a werewolf' or anything." James stretched. "Although I might as well. My parents aren't off work until August so the next week is going to be pretty dull."

Remus leaned back in his seat. He was nervous. Six weeks was a long time and he couldn't help but wonder whether everything would change. He looked out of the window and watched the hills roll by as the Hogwarts Express moved towards London.

For now at least, he knew that they were his friends. All he could hope was that nothing would change.

It is nigh-on impossible, in our story at least, to pinpoint the exact moment when our friendships bloomed. In many ways after a year, these relationships were merely seeds that had been planted, for they had time to grow and blossom. Yet, it cannot be denied that after just one year, the roots of something special were in place. And it does not matter that we will never know which moment of understanding, which conversation, or which experience cemented our seeds into the ground. All that matters is that by the 28th of July 1972 four acquaintances had become four best friends. For this was how, from the very beginning, it was meant to be.

 _A/N:_ So I realise that I am three chapters in and still have not settled on a format – this is intentional and I promise that from next chapter I am going to start developing the storyline properly! Just wanted to give a quick S/O to Rachie as my first (and only!) reviewer. Your comments truly made my day! Any more reviews are more than welcome – positivity makes me happy and criticism makes me a better writer!

Thank you for sticking with me this far x


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